A Funny Letter

Dear Wine Club Members,

I asked Steve to write something about harvesting and this is what i got!

It was Saturday and I was taking a nap. I awoke to entertain three wine tasters, two young ladies and a man.  I was feeling a little groggy. The sleep had not cleared my head. We talked as they tasted wine. Soon we lined up to take pictures. “Say Cheese. Now let’s dance! I tried to do a Can-Can, but could only manage a Scottish hillbilly high step jig.

As they were collecting their wine, I noticed their iPad running. It showed clips from their latest Hollywood detective show. I also noticed that we had been playing Legos. Why didn’t I remember that?

I walked them out to their car and was meet by a field of geysers. A harvest worker had turned on all the pumps and had opened the irrigation valves for only a half an acre. Too much pressure! I went back to sleep.

I was shortly reawakened from my nap. I heard a low rumble. I thought it was the workers bringing in a load of grapes with the tractor. Looking out the living room window I saw that the workers and the tractor were still in the field. The low rumble was merely a large elephant eating my rose bushes.

It was then that I figured out why the irrigation system was on, a herd of black heifers were in the vineyard bugging the harvest crew. Alberto had turned on the water so the cattle move to a different area and let the workers be.

Little Albertito, all of nine years old was the one who found the solution to meandering herd. He donned a black hoodie and charged through the tightly packed herd. I was worried for his safety, yet he managed to lead about half the herd through a hole in the fence to the neighbors pasture. His father Alberto appeared riding a roan horse and chased the rest of the cattle past the fence to the pasture beyond.

It seemed the excitement would now be over, but the neighbor’s prized breeding steer then noticed the hole and fresh water. He charged past the fence and commenced to drink a geyser.

This was getting to be too much and I was about to take action. Yes, I was going to leave my perch looking out from my living room window! Happily, my neighbor was now on the job. He had taken the reins of the roan from Alberto and was working his way, lasso and all, towards the steer.

Ignoring the rose munching elephant, I returned to my nap.

It was not to last. Again I heard a low rumble. It was the tractor coming in with a load of grapes. One of the wheels was loose and wobbling. I got the star wrench to tighten the lugs and unloaded the grapes.

The petite sirah yields were lighter than last year. The crew is now in the barbera. I have no idea where the elephant has gone. Doves have made a nest in the tree shading my kitchen window.


Steve, Jacob,Emily &Guadalupe

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